The television is a powerful medium. Well, more of a medium than Derek Acorah can claim to be anyway. People are often persuaded to do things by what they see on the box, as demonstrated by one weak-willed woman from New Mexico. She’s taken out a court order on David Letterman claiming that he “sent her code words via television”.

Of course he did dear.

Colleen Nestler took out the order saying that Letterman forced her to go bankrupt and caused her mental cruelty and sleep deprivation for 11 years.

Mr Letterman, who records his show in New York, cannot go within three yards of Ms Nestler, of Santa Fe, New Mexico.

His solicitor said the claims were “absurd and frivolous”.

Naturally some lawyers are getting paid to deal with this, with begs the question: wtf?

Actually, I’ve been affected by similar messages from the television quite recently. Jennifer Garner has been pouting at me during episodes of Alias Season Three and I reckon she wants me to go round there and roger her senseless. Jennifer love, if you’re reading this I’ll be round your place after the New Year, I’m a bit busy until then. I’ll see you the weekend of 7th January – make sure that dickhead Affleck is out this time ok?

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