At the moment I have some nice grazes on my knees and elbows and I’m stiff all over. Sadly, this wasn’t due to having some energetic sex with a sexy nymphomaniac on a nylon carpet – I played football last night for the first time in several years.

It’s looking like this might now be a regular occurrence. I did rather enjoy myself, despite my lack of fitness or ball skills. I ran around for an hour, got really tired but scored a screamer of a goal late on in the game – I met a ball over the top of the box and was surprised when it went in the goal rather than disappearing into the carpark.

Sadly, my poor aching muscles are complaining about these exertions today. My ankles hate me for some reason and my back is on strike. Oh well, it’s an enjoyable way of improving my fitness.

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