Please stay Rabbi
The Rabbi explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.
Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships in the city stands up and proclaims, “If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!”
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds. Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor stands and says, “If the Rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!”
More sighs and loud applause. Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, “If the Rabbi stays, I vill give him sex!”
There is total silence.
The Rabbi, blushing, asks her, “Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?”
Sadie’s 90 year old husband, Jacob, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies, “Vell, I just asked mein husband how ve could help, and he said, “Fuck that Rabbi.”
You can thank Ray for that one.