How to stop your baby

After my recent baby-related musings I’ve been almost constantly thinking of ways to use Velcro as a home safety product. You know, there are all sorts of ways to use this wonder product.

I think that one of my ideas could be a winner.

Once baby starts to crawl there are all sorts of potentially injurious situations for your ankle-biter to find itself in. One of these danger-zones is the stairs. Parents up and down the country install gates with fiddly catches that are difficult to open even for adults. These stupid things are clumsy solutions to this most dangerous of baby problems.

I have a better solution: the velcro “cattle” gate.

I know what you’re thinking: “WTF are you talking about?” However, bear with me for a tick.

Rather than installing gates at the top and bottom of stairs, simply attach a few strips of Velcro across the entrance and exit of the staircase. Then, and this is the crucial bit, sew more Velcro onto your child’s clothing, preferably across the arms and stomach. If Baby gets too close to the stairs then they become stuck, unable to free themselves with their weak, chubby arms.

Simple and elegant, no? In much the same way that a farmer stops his cows from eating his crops with a cattle grid, baby is not able to pass into danger due to the power of Velcro.

I love Velcro

%d bloggers like this: