The Queen dies etc

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there’s only one…

Are you Scottish?

You are a GLASWEGIAN If: 1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie ;-), Ecclefechan Milngavie, Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake. 2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the…

Pinch my nipples

A woman went to a Curry’s service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won’t work. The clerk told her that…

Sandals

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they…

Scottish Dating Ads

Real ones of course. Romantic bastards, those Scots. Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks petite nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit…

Fifi

A US marine stationed in France returning to base, is wandering through the train carriages looking for a an empty seat, the only one he finds is occupied by a…