One day a Scotsman, stranded on a desert island for over ten years,sees an unusual speck on the horizon. “That’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer, he rules out the possibility of a small boat too. Suddenly, out of the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde (called Lynda) wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned man and says to him, “Tell me how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
“Ten years,” replies the Scotsman.
With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He selects one carefully, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Is that ever good!”
“And how long has it been since you’ve had a sip of Scotch whisky?” she asks him.
Trembling, the castaway replies, “Ten years.”
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve and pulls out a bottle of 25 year-old Single Malt. He opens the flask, takes a thoughtful swig and says, “Fantastic!”
Now she slowly starts opening the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, with a glint in her eye, “And how long has it been since you’ve played around?”
With tears in his eyes,the Scotsman falls to his knees and sobs, “Sweet mother of God! Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there, too?”