I assaulted a small child today

I had a little accident today with my youngest niece. I was baby-sitting the two girls while my sister went to the shops, both were asleep and I was watching Dune on the telly. Eventually the youngest one woke up and we had a bit of fun in her bouncy chair, well, she did, I was the guy employed to keep putting her toys back after she threw them on the floor.

All was well, and mummy came home and she busied herself with mummy things, as mummys do (or is that mummies?). At one point the 8 month-old niece started to winge a bit so I picked her up. She needed something that I wasn’t prepared to do (change the nappy, bollocks to that) so I stood up to take her through to my sister. Unfortunately my head then collided with the overhead light-fitting causing me to automatically lower my head, thus making me head-butt my niece.

She wasn’t too pleased with this turn of events and started to wail like a banshee. Thankfully no lasting damage was done, both her face and my head are fine and the light-fitting didn’t sustain any lasting damage.

My niece soon forgave me for my accidental violence towards her and allowed me to feed her some sort of mushed-up peas and carrots later on.

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